So as most of you know, I work in a hospital. There is something magical about a hospital that sort of make me think of REALLY weird things. I don't know how these thoughts got in my head or why I always think of them only when I'm at the hospital, but for some reason I always do. I feel today would be a good day to share some of those crazy thoughts I have.
1. Whenever I ride the elevators I always...ALWAYS make bets on which one will get there first. I usually only do this with myself. Occasionally when I used to work with another aide named Brandon, we would make actual bets usually involving one of us having to clean the office or some piece of equipment. But now that I don't work with him anymore, I only make bets with myself. Usually the bets are along the lines of "take the trash out today if I lose, take it out tomorrow if I win."
2. There is a doctor who every time I look at him I think "He looks like this guy". No matter how many times I see him, I ALWAYS think that, and I laugh a little to think of him battling it out with a secret agent platypus.
3. On the 1st floor of the hospital just as you come out of the visitor elevators there are 3 photos of close ups of the inside of flowers and every time I see them, I always think they look like women's genitalia. It's very Georgia O'Keefe, but much less subtle and pretty.
4. Whenever I have both pagers on, as stupid and childish as it sounds, I feel like I'm a super important person in the hospital. Even if I don't get a single page on them at all, I feel like at any second I could be paged for something REALLY important and I would have to dash off Grey's Anatomy style and save the day.
5. I kind of always hope that somehow something that happens on ER would happen here at the hospital. How terrible it that? Like I hope that someday while I'm working here, I get taken hostage by a drug seeker. Seriously....how messed up is my mind if I think that???? Or some sort of evacuation due to a fire or something. Of course when I imagine this, NO ONE gets hurt. Everyone ends up happy an healthy in the end. I'm such a weirdo!
6. I like to imagine really bitchy patients/family members in funny generic costumes when they are driving me nuts. The costumes I imagine are as follows: cowboy, cheerleader, gorilla, firefighter, and princess. Both genders are put into these costumes. It is really a treat to imagine my coming-off-the-sauce asshole patient in a princess costume with a hairy chest and a beard.
7. Every time I pass a med room, a clean utility room, or one of the resident on call rooms, I always think about grabbing one of the hotter male nurses (or any good looking male staff member) that populate this hospital and passionately make out with them in said room.
8. Whenever I pass an empty room I have a sincere desire to grab a few prewarmed blankets and take a long nap in the room. I feel like no one would be the wiser even though someone would probably find me out 10 minutes in to the nap and I would be written up/fired.
9. I firmly and truly believe this hospital is haunted. I mean how can it not? SO many people have died here, someone has to still be sticking around to make it a little spooky. The only time I enjoy being here at 6 is on a Saturday when most of the regular clinics are shut down for the weekend and the lights in some of the hallways are off. I like to walk through them and think up tragic stories for the people who have died here. Most of them usually mirror the story of the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland involving a dead husband and a his forlorn suicidal bride.
Anyway, those are my weird thoughts.
Boxes Packed: 4
Bags of Garbage: 1
Days Till Move: 4
Quote of The Day: This