So I have an issue with dating. It's a necessary evil so I don't end up all alone with 3 million cats who eventually eat half my face, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.
Not to toot my own horn, but I'm a pretty confident girl. Put me in a crazy costume or make me do something silly in public? I'm there will bells on and I will probably be singing a bad 80's tune. Tell me I'm a French woman who is being attacked by aliens and put me on a stage? Eh hoo hoo, I'm a French woman being attacked by aliens. Tell me to read a paper in front of a class? No big deal. Reason with an unruly patient or their angry family members? Piece of cake! Point out body parts on a cadaver? Sign me up.
But put me on a date where I have to be confident, understatedly sexy, funny, and smart girl standing in front of a potential suitor? Suddenly I'm a doubtful, over-analyzing, nervous wreck who can't string two words together in a remotely intelligent factor. I hate that dating does that to me. I hate that it saps me of any positivity concerning myself.
Suddenly I'm debating wardrobe choices for hours, obsessing over the state of my eyelashes, begging and pleading with my unruly hair to cooperate, and forgetting what a fantastic person I am. All I can focus on is how completely fabulous my date is and how I will never be in his league. I hate that a person who believes that playing Madden 09 all day gives them athletic prowess (read: SWEEPING STEREOTYPE) makes me a quivering, bumbling fool. Here's the sad thing though....the dudes? They don't notice have of the crap I worry about for far to long.
If I have a pimple on the side of my face or a stray eyebrow hair, chances are guys aren't even going to notice. That is unless I point it out. Of course, because I feel like I look less then perfect, I obsess about it and everything I say the whole time I'm on a date.
I'm a person who likes things to be black and white. But when it comes to dating there are so many stupid factors that go into whether someone is into you or not. "Did he hold your hand? Well for how long? Was there inter-digitation? Oh no inter-digitation? That's a bad sign." or "Did he hold your hand or did you hold his? Did he let go or did you? Was there inter-digitation? There was? Oh, that's a bad sign." Geeze, and that's just when it comes to hand holding. There is also factors of how close your faces got, whether he opens your door or not, the awful "goodbye" situation (was it the awkward ass-out hug or a full body hug?).
Why are we perpetuating this terrible over-analyzing? It's driving me INSANE! Yeah maybe he put his hand on the small of my back, what does it matter? Just because he touched my shoulder for 4 seconds instead of 5 doesn't mean he doesn't or does like me.
I blame the men frankly. It's all their fault. Yeah, fellas, I'm blaming you. So what if I blame you and there's nothing you did. I can do that as a woman, just like you can suck all my self-esteem out of me because you are a man. There you go, turnabout is fair play.
1 comment:
why do they have that effect on us? it's not fair! easier said than done, just pretend the date is nothing more than a casual interaction between friends and if something exciting happens go with the flow. I've been out for a while, so I don't remember all the tricks. I am glad that otherwise you know you are fantastic! just tell yourself that before you go on a date, and if he can't handle your fabulosity that's his problem. and never ever tell yourself that he's "out of my league" you're just setting yourself up for failure. no one is out of your league if you want him bad enough :) (he just has to be smart enough to realize what a great catch you are)
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