Tuesday, December 13, 2011
This was me more than a year ago within the first week of starting the program I'm currently in. Today as I write this blog I have finished up the last of my finals in my 4th semester of school. This semester is my final semester of class work and I have learned all that my teachers can teach me.
I hardly know the girl in this picture anymore. She's familiar to me in a way that you might feel familiar to someone you went to high school with but barely conversed with. I feel a sort of affection for her naivety and overconfidence. I feel affection towards how little she knew about herself at the time and what she was capable of.
A year ago I was POSITIVE I could take the national exam and ace it because of my 5 solid years as a physical therapy aide.
A year ago I thought I would kick everyone's butts in practicals and that I was the best out of anyone in my program.
A year ago I thought that I would have to teach everyone else all the amazing I knew so that they could try and keep up with me.
And deep down inside..a year ago I thought I would never make it though this program. A year ago, I figured I would do what I always do when faced with school. Try hard the first few weeks, and then drop everything and fail out.
A year later I realize that even with a whole lot of studying and a pinch of luck, I'm might not pass the national exam.
A year later I realize that while I am better than some on my practicals, I will always have more to learn.
A year later I realize that my fellow students have more to teach me than I could ever hope to teach anyone else and at times I wouldn't be me who was waiting for them to keep up but the other way around.
A year later I've realized that if it's something I'm passionate about I can do whatever I put my mind to.
Around this time a year ago I was having my heart broken by someone not even remotely worth my tears. And while it put dating on the back burner for a while (a good thing I assure you, I didn't get a 3.7 for nothing last semester) it was a growing experience I would never want to change or give up for anything.
Earlier this year I also lost my job. A job at the time I would have lived and died for. I loved that job more than anything in the whole world. It was a job full of people I believed to be my friends. The place I felt was my second home stocked full of my second family. When I was unceremoniously kicked out of that job, I thought my whole world had fallen apart. I felt like there was no way to continue in the PT career, but within weeks I saw the gift that was losing my job. I was given the opportunity to explore one of my hobbies more fully, like I said earlier I got a 3.7 GPA, a first for me.
It's been a rough road with a lot of times where I thought I was going to have to hang it up and give up my goal. There were a lot of tears shed, a lot of disasters that I wasn't sure were going come out okay, but in the end, this journey has been something I will never forget and I value immensely.
There are a few people without whom I wouldn't be writing this reflective blog.
Cait: my study buddy, my cheerleader, my partner in crime, and my ride to school.
Ryan: My school older brother who kept me laughing, could always find my trigger points, and came up with good ways to remember things
Dr. N: My school mentor, the teacher who was always on my side, and the nerdy sounding board I needed when I thought I'd rip all my hair out
My Family: for their monetary help, their prayers, their encouragement and their unceasing belief that I can be amazing
Lady Underdown: my mentor and the first person in the biz who told me I could truly become a great clinician, without her pushing me to be better, I wouldn't have lasted in this program.
Rachel: my quizzer and guinea pig even though most of the time she had no idea what I was doing, saying, or trying to remember.
It's been a fantastic 16 months and on to the next 5 and a half!