BEDA

Maureen Johnson (one of my favorite authors) has put up a challenge (http://tinyurl.com/ck6xdb) to Blog Every Day In April or BEDA as it's known. I felt this was a challenge I could definitely undertake. I actually really love blogging and reading other people's blogs, so long as it has relevant information on it. So here I try.

I think Katy is really the only person so far that actually follows my blogs (HI KATY!) but I've realized I'm a tad remiss in updating it actually about my life. Although if you know me well, you know that music is a really big way in how I feel emotion and live my life. But with this challenge also comes a challenge within a challenge. I need to speak more of my own words and stop leaning on the words of others to say how I feel.

I've been really sick the last two days, like barfy-can't-eat-or-drink-anything sick. I've basically been living in the bathroom or in my bed except for the 4 hours I hauled myself to work on Monday. It's not a fun thing being sick, and last night I got pretty emotionally frustrated.

Now I don't want anyone to think that my whole life revolves around finding someone to date, that's not the case at all but when I moved to Salt Lake my dating life became a degree more exciting. I've dated more in the last 3 months than I have all of last year combined. But with dating comes the constant "what's wrong with me" when dates don't work out. I've had a lot of holes shot through my protective confidence shield and it doens't make for a lot of feeling good about yourself when that happens.

But I keep carrying on you know, my goal of letting things roll off my back has been a really amazing journey for me. I've stopped keeping things in my head. I get angry/sad/hurt for a few hours, I stomp around, I write all of it down, and then destroy the writing in some way. And I've let it go. It's a nice feeling to not have all those feelings jumbled up inside of me.

In other news, I'm headed to Logan this evening with my bestie, Laura. We are going to a Post Secret live event and I'm beyond stoked! I've been a huge fan of PS for like 2 years now, and I really can't wait to go participate in something so much bigger than all of us. It's been a small comfort to connect with people on a weekly baisis who have no knowlegde of who I am, what my beliefs are, or why I'm reading PS. But to know that there are people in the world who deal with the same things that I do....it's really a beautiful feeling.

Any-dang-way, I'll see you kids tomorrow!